Failed donation letter, v7

This attempt followed the legendary advice of (I think) Yogi Berra who said something like when you get to a fork in the road just take it.

Dear friends and family,

For the past few months, I have been debating taking my life in a few different directions. The most practical and likely of these were to return to school or do a triathlon. To digress just a little, one of my great weaknesses but also one of my fondest habits is retreating into myself and over analyzing minor details to the point of near madness. Yes, I'm fond of that about myself and I miss it when I stop doing it. I've analyzed why and...

Anyway, I ended up framing the great MBA vs. Tri debate as the "get smarter vs. get better looking" paradox. I called it a paradox because it sounds intelligent (like I have an MBA!) and sort of makes me feel like I'm in a Borges short story or like Kafka is going to come to me in a dream and tell me what to do. An MBA would (hopefully) make me smarter and finally allow me to fire up those dynamic cranial nuero-processors rattling around in my head for something useful, like making a lot of money, crushing the every man, and finally having a reason to vote republican. A triathlon would get me into great shape, healthy, and maybe rekindle a little of my competitive passion. To put in the parlance of our youth, it's the great debate to get paid or get laid, to climb the corporate ladder or run the stairs, to make people green with envy or green with desire? So many choices...

I lost it there but nobody thought this was appropriate or that I could keep going. You know, I spent a few hours thinking about that and I...