What is the triathlon training turning me into? (Commercial Break)

According to my roommate, an 85 year old Asian woman. There might be a slight paraphrase in there, but only a slight one. Here it is: a few months ago I had an incredible headache at work and since I was being ornery and grumpy (me? really?), my boss told me to put something called Tiger Balm on my temples to soothe the pain. "oooh," said one of my coworkers, "That stuff is great."

At the time, I had never heard of tiger balm, but it sounded exotic and fun. I immediately had this image of a tiger rubbing down his calves after a rough wildebeast hunt and thought, hmm, interesting. My boss said it helps muscles relax and since he is a former superstar rugby player, I told him I would give it a try. And I did. And it helped (I was still grumpy though just because)...

Anyway, I use it now on my shoulders or on my calves when they are sore, sometimes on my lower back. My roommate says I smell like her grandmother, who is and amazingly always has been, an 85 year old Asian woman. So the triathlon is turning me into my roommates grandmother, only taller.

I like it though. Tiger balm gets a thumbs up. I imagine it's like Ben Gay or Icy Hot but I have never tried those. I now need to try "body glide," which stops blisters and chafing in places I don't want to blister or chafe. I already use little band aids when running distances so my nipples don't bleed (learned that the hard way, maybe I can body glide the nips?). I need to buy jammers (bathing suit that looks like compression shorts), triathlon shorts (jammers mixed with biking shorts you can also run in), and other stuff. More on tri gear in another post.